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Useless
The wings are large enough to cover all of them when they're unfolded. White and gold and flowing out of Justin's back as if it's perfectly natural, as if he's supposed to have them. He can't fly, though; they're useless. In his bitter moments, that pleases Lance. They grew quickly from Justin's shoulders, so quickly that Lance can't remember what it was like to look at Justin and not know they were there. He looked up one day and they seemed to make as much sense as Justin being suddenly taller than him. At night, across dark hotel rooms, they gleam, reflecting some light source that Lance can't see. He stays up and watches Justin, who is sprawled on his stomach and unmoving, barely visible under the weight. But when they perform during the day, the wings are folded away into his back. Lance always stops to look at him, letting the sight of Justin without them become normal.
Justin holds a mug of coffee in his hands, hunched over with the wings seeming to float out behind him. It's as if they're not attached to his back, and for a moment Lance thinks that maybe he did imagine all of this. And then Justin sighs, deeply, and the wings follow his movement, shuddering along with the rest of his body. Justin's tired and cranky now, dark smudges under his eyes, and everyone else has already gone through the motions of comforting him. Chris ruffled his hair, and Joey hugged him tightly. JC sat behind him on the couch, running his fingers along the wings and humming to himself. Justin seemed to curl into the touch. And now they're alone and Lance knows it's his turn. He's so fucking charming, and Lance can't even hate him for it. He's looking up and into Lance's eyes through his lashes, he's gold and white and dark, dark blue, and Lance could never say no.
He avoids Justin for as long as possible, and at night when he pretends to sleep, he can feel the warmth of Justin's breath as he leans over, and the breeze of the wings moving against his legs. Justin is safely on his own side of the room by morning. His eyes seem to plead at Lance at the oddest times: when Chris holds him down and tickles him, when he's draped across Joey pretending to nap, the wings a blanket to them both. Lance sees an invitation in every look, and turns away.
They're backstage after a show and Lance knows what will happen, the others too busy changing out of their costumes to notice. Lance can see that it's inevitable, so he leans against the wall, watching Justin stand across the room, shirtless, waiting until everyone is gone. When Justin reaches him, he pulls Lance forward almost roughly, and leans in to kiss him, the wings folding around them. Even as his eyes close, Lance can see white and gold and, Useless, he thinks, useless. Stories Ethereal |